


The Words I Can't Say

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, barely?, i dunno louis is a bit of a whore at first?, rain kisses, zarry friendship - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 14:13:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/954074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry is in love with his best friend but can't tell him, but one day he snaps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Words I Can't Say

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this for a prompt i found on tumblr. i put it on my larry writing blog (http://oopsharryhilouis.tumblr.com/) but my main blog is here (http://dandelionlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ok ily byee

Harry loves everything about Louis, well, except for the fact that Louis doesn't even acknowledge the fact that Harry has feelings for him.

It started when the two were in primary school. Harry was eight when Louis was ten, and they were at the playground together. Harry had his hands buried under a pile of sand and Louis was laughing, covering them back up when Harry would wiggle his fingers, causing the sand to crumble and drop to the sides. Some highschooler had walked up and started laughing at the two, calling them rude names that Harry didn't understand, but it still hurt his feelings because the way the kid had said them.

Louis, being the brave boy he was, stood up and started to shout back at him, telling him that he should run off and that him and Harry were minding their own business like the older kid should. It scared Harry that Louis was standing up to the boy since he was twice Louis' size and he was towering over Lou like he were some building that was ready to fall and demolish everything in its path.

But, Louis didn't care about that fact. He didn't like how him and Harry were being treated, so he was brave. It wasn't necessarily the fact that Louis was being so brave that made Harry fall in love with the boy - it was the fact that the boy wanted to protect Harry, even if it meant he could get hurt in the process.

Now, Louis is twenty and just as reckless as he was when he was small. Harry is eighteen, just as fond, and even more in love with the older boy. Now that Harry's older, he knows his feelings are more than some pity crush, but he also feels like he's the protective one now. 

It's often that Louis brings home random strangers and takes them to his room for a night of loud sex that keeps Harry awake, wishing he could burst in and snap Louis out of his idiotic trance; but he doesn't. He never does.

* * *

"Zayn, I don't know what to do anymore," Harry mutters out, gripping onto his cup. "I mean, last night I swear I heard him and that bloke from the shop down town going at it until three a.m." He lifts the cup to his lips and lets out a sigh before tipping the cup up, allowing the cold water to glide down his throat.

"You need to tell him, H," Zayn replies, looking up from his English book. Harry only rolls his eyes and scoffs. "Oh, yes, Zayn," Harry says,"let me rush home now and burst through the doors so I can scream to Louis how I am in love with him and I have been since we were small children!" Harry exaggerates the statement by swinging his arms in the air and jumping to his feet. 

Zayn shakes his head and smiles. "Well it's true. And the worst he can say is that he doesn't feel the same."

"Exactly!" Harry says, practically in a shout. "If he doesn't feel the same, then I don't know what I'll do. It's easier to just love him in secret, I tell you," Harry announces, plopping back down on the red beanbag. 

Zayn tosses his book to the side and stands up in front of his curly headed friend. "Nope. I'm tired of hearing you complain about how the guy you're in love with doesn't love you back but you don't know if he loves you back, really." Zayn reaches down and grabs Harry's hands, yanking him up.

Harry groans and slumps down, poking out his bottom lip and staring at Zayn with watery eyes.

"Stand up, mate," Zayn demands, pushing Harry's shoulders upright and patting his arms down at his sides. He puts on a big smile and says,"Pretend I'm Louis, and say to me what you want - scratch that -  _need_ to tell him." Harry only shakes his head and raises his eyebrows. 

"Not today, mate," Harry replies, running past Zayn, dodging his arms as he tries to grab him. Zayn huffs out a breath of air then starts to chase Harry through the room, sliding across the wooden floorboards due to his socks (which Liam said were dangerous but Zayn refuses to believe him, even though he should).

It's when the front door opens that Harry stops, only to have Zayn crash into him and have them both tumbling to the floor - Zayn sprawled on top of Harry.

"For fucks sake, it's pouring outsi- Oh. Am I interrupting something here?" The irish man asks, raising his eyebrows friskily at the two boys on the floor. 

The two burst into laughter and Harry pushes Zayn off of him, onto his side. 

"Don't you ever knock, Niall?" Zayn asks, propping himself up on his elbows. Niall shakes his head and kicks his boots off. He drops his raincoat on top of them and walks past them into the kitchen.

"Maybe I should've fallen in love with Niall instead," Harry jokes, jumping up and walking up behind the blonde boy. "He seems like he'd love me back." Harry leans forward and wraps Niall up in his arms, only to have Niall push him off and laugh. 

"Never in a million years, babe."

Harry lets out a fake, hurt sigh and turns back to Zayn. 

"Feeling the love," Harry informs, strutting past Zayn and sitting back down where he was seated before, and he retakes his sad demeanor. 

After a few minutes of Niall and Zayn just watching Harry sit in frustration, Niall steps forward and puts his hands on his hips. "Get up," he demands. Zayn and Harry both give him a confused look.

"We're going to have a boys night. Zayn can call Liam, and we can all head over to Harry's place and watch some movies. No heart-breaking quiff kings allowed," Niall states, the 'quiff king' being Louis, Harry assumes.

"It's not his fault, Ni. He doesn't even know Harry's in love with him," Zayn interrupts, planting his hands on either of Niall's shoulders. "And plus, you're forgetting Louis lives with Harry."

Niall walks out of Zayn's grip and sits on a bar stool. "Minor details," He replies. "And if you would pay attention to our friend's lives, you would know that Louis works tonight until ten, which we will be asleep by - maybe. Again, minor details."

Zayn then thinks for a second, then turns to Harry and shrugs. "You up for it?" He asks.

Harry sighs and lets his head fall back. "Yeah, but why mine?" Niall jogs forward and sits gently in his friend's lap.

"That, my good friend, is because your house has the best surround sound." Harry lulls his head back up and shakes his it at his friend.

"You mooch off me a lot," Harry informs, placing his hand on Niall's back. Niall grins and cuddles his head into his friend's shoulder. "You love me," He replies, nudging his nose at Harry's jaw playfully.

Harry only rolls his eyes and says,"fine." He then stands them up and grabs his stuff.

"Zayn, can you go ahead and call Liam though? I don't feel like having to wait an hour to start a movie." Zayn nods and walks down his hall, probably to his room - or Harry thinks.

When he comes back, Zayn informs that Liam said he'd be there about the time they got there, and they go on their way.

* * *

Harry can barely hear the movie over Niall's loud munching and laughter. He doesn't really care though because he never really liked 'Marley and Me' since the dog dies in the end. He figures Niall's never seen it, though, because if he had he'd be insane to be laughing.

Harry looks over and watches as Liam combs his hands through Zayn's hair as he chuckles at the screen. Harry wishes Louis was there so Louis would comb his tiny fingers through Harry's hair.

Stupid Louis with his stupid tiny hands and hi stupid belly that makes Harry want to kiss him even more and stupid, stupid, stupid Harry for being in love with stupid Louis.

Harry groans and lets his head fall back onto the cushion of the couch. He hears a clicking noise though, and turns his head to face it - only to see the door opening and Louis marching in like he's just walked on water.

"'Ello, boys," Louis cheers, walking over to the couch and plopping down beside Harry.

Harry immediately turns his head to Niall and glares at him, because Niall _swore_ Louis had work, but by the way Niall's grinning he had this whole thing planned out.

"Hey, Lou, we're just finishing this movie up," Niall states, pointing his finger at the screen then placing his hand back into the bowl of popcorn in his lap. Louis nods his head and turns to the screen.

Harry can tell Louis wants to say something but is going to wait for the movie to be over, so Harry just nestles down into his spot and crosses his arms.

After a few minutes, Niall is screaming out how "he can't die!' and "this movie is absolute shit!" All the boys just laugh at Niall because he's being so dramatic.

Their laughter is cut short when Louis grabs the remote and cuts off the television.

"So, guys, can I tell you about something?" He asks, crossing his feet on the couch. Harry can tell it's gonna be something stupid, or something that upsets him, but he doesn't interrupt.

Harry feels his heart sink and his face turn red with anger when Louis starts saying,"So you'll never guess where I just got back from. Eleanor Calder's. You know, the girl from down the street who likes to pick up change from the fountain."

Harry is clenching his fists because  _really, Louis_? Another one. A-fucking-nother. He can feel Zayn's eyes on him but he doesn't care, he just stares forward and internally fights the urge to get up and scream at Louis.

"She's a bit of a nutter," Louis continues,"but she's a nice shag, I tell you."

Then Harry's body is moving without his permission and he's towering over Louis, like the stupid teenagers were when they were kids.

"You know what Louis, I'm done. I'm so done. You are so fucking inconsiderate and reckless and idiotic and I don't think I can handle it anymore." Louis is staring up at Harry with his mouth forming an 'o' and his eyebrows scrunched together like he's hurt but confused. Harry knows Liam, Zayn, and Niall are probably debating whether to stop him, but he continues before they could even have a chance.

"For the past ten fucking years I have had to put up with you talking about the random people you like and how you'd fuck them into oblivion, but I didn't care because I love you. For the past four years I've had to listen to you talk about how you  _did_ fuck those people into oblivion. I am not doing this anymore. I've put up with it because I love you, Louis. I am so in love with you that I let you do this, and I've let you break my heart a million times, but I can't do it anymore."

When Harry is done the room is silent and he feels like his tongue has turned to cotton and his skin is burning red with anger - or humiliation - (minor details, yet again).

Liam is sitting with a frown. Niall is half propped up on the floor and half laying down. Zayn is just silent, as if he expected it to happen this way. Louis - Louis is sitting there, staring at his friend who he's known his whole life, and he's not sure what to do. He's got his eyes trained on Harry's, which suddenly look like an innocent little boy's eyes. A little boy who's scared and regretful and -

"Harry, come back!" Louis is shouting at his friend as he watches him run out the front door.

Harry doesn't know where he's going but he can't be there - not with everyone staring at him like he's some circus freak. He just wants to crawl into a hole and hide. Or die. Either works for him about now. 

He's jogging down the street with bare feet and rain pouring down on him, causing his curls to mop down into his eyes. He finally stops in front of some red bike. He looks up to the sky through the rain and takes him the darkness above. He really wishes it was a blanket so he could climb up into it and wrap himself up to hide away from everyone and everything. 

He just looks up for a few minutes, trying to think about how he wants to run across the glimmering stars so maybe, just maybe, he'd not have to deal with life. Or specifically _Louis_ , but still.

He's so focused on the black canvas above him that he doesn't realize that someone's wrapped a rain-coat over his shoulder's and hugged him from behind. He doesn't realize that the familiar smell of caramel and apples is filling his nose. And he sure as hell doesn't realize that he's crying really hard.

That is until he hears a warm, familiar voice say,"I'm sorry."

He jumps a little in his skin and pulls away from the touch, turning to face Louis. Louis is holding Harry's rain-boots in his hands and he's got his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Louis leans down and sets the boots down for Harry to slide his feet in, which he does and grips onto Louis for balance. When him and Louis are both standing up straight he just swallows hard and tries to calm his breathing.

Louis is the first one to speak. "I'm so, so sorry Harry. I didn't know you felt like that - at all," Louis speaks a little louder than usual because if he doesn't then Harry wont be able to hear him over the rain (which is now soaking through his clothes and drenching him completely). 

Harry is about to open his mouth but is stopped when Louis reaches out and holds his finger to Harry's lips, shutting him up. 

"I don't know what to say, really. Other than I'm so sorry that I've hurt you. And you're my best friend and I know I've been stupid and reckless and I would never, in my life, purposefully hurt you. I love you, so much, Harry. I'm such an inconsiderate bastard and I don't deserve to have someone as amazing and tolerant of you in my life. And I don't deserve a second chance, and I sure as hell don't deserve what I'm asking, but will you please, please forgive me. You're what's best for me, Harry, and I'm sorry I've just realized this. Whether it's as friends, or as a real relationship, I don't care. I just need you in my life, Harry."

And before Harry knows what he's doing he's leaning down and pressing his lips against Louis'. Wow, he' really glad his body isn't doing what it's told tonight because tonight is pretty decent as far as he's concerned because he's got the man he loves lips on his own.

To Harry's surprise Louis is kissing back, and wrapping his arms around Harry's neck, and the rain is pouring down on them, and Harry feels electricity rushing through his veins, and wow he really feels like his life is a scene in some cheesy romance novel (which isn't that bad right now).

They stand like that, kissing in the rain, for god knows how long. Harry doesn't really care about anything in the world right now except for the fact that Louis and him are okay, and probably more than okay, and Harry forgives Louis. He always does, but this time he doesn't hate himself for doing so.

They don't know where they go from here, but they don't really care. All that matters is that here and now, Louis and Harry are happy and together.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this took like two hours to write im so pathetic oh my god


End file.
